God had forgiven me a lot. In time I forgave all the other voices. They knew not what they did just as I knew not what I did until I let God’s voice override all voices, including my own. A time finally came when I sensed Him telling me to give something back that would make a difference.
I have never been a parent by blood. But I have temporarily parented children who came here to do odd jobs for a little money and stayed to bear their troubled souls. In each of them I see potential greatness in that, regardless of their abilities or lack of them, they can each fill an important place in life that nobody else can.
One word of genuine understanding of that individual and the encouragement of some wonderful, special thing God lets me see in them can change their lives for the better and positively impact those around them and generations to come.This is a greater art form than all the others.
I am a busy woman and have no desire to be a know-it-all or a busybody in others lives. Nor is this some pathological compensation for not having children. I love children but am not good parent material. I have always sensed this was so and have taken other routes for which I am suited. My appreciation of my parents and all they sacrificed for me is very great. As parents they achieved something remarkable that I did not have the ability or courage to undertake. I do not fault them for being unable to read my mind.
However I cannot bear to think of a child coiled-up in himself and suffering silently in the way I once did at times.I do not come to them they come to me. But when they do so I am there for them. I take the time to listen to what they are saying and read all I can between the lines. Like Socrates, I ask them questions that help them find answers, then better answers, then the best ones we can come up with for the time being until they are past a crisis of greater experts than myself can be engaged in the matter.
In one case this has held off an expressed intent of suicide and murder. I do this prayerfully and I intercede for them in prayer. I do not have the audacity to think I have all the answers, but I know God does and that He will use me.
As they do their chores, I watch them and show them a better or easier way to do this or that if they seem to be having trouble with it. I encourage them in their interests and abilities. I sometimes share my faith with them and all it has meant in my life. I make no demands that they agree with me because I respect their person-hood. But I hope I leave them with something of value to consider.
Sometimes I am just there to listen because nobody else will. I do not say that smugly. Their parents are struggling as I once did in the workplace and with a complex set of responsibilties in the family that I do not have to deal with. Sometimes I do not know what to say or ask. When I do not know, I simply tell them how much I care about them and later intercede for them in prayer. I know in my heart that God speaks to those who do not have the capacity to communicate with others or receive others communication to them. – Still, I hope my little bit makes a difference.